Its about my Marathon.
I need to move on. So I'm sharing this finally. I hadn't planned to honestly.
Handy Man tries to be supportive and I really appreciate him letting me complain (still) about this.
First off let me mention that I am VERY proud of what I accomplished. I did something I set out two years ago to do. I did something that many people won't even attempt.
But I am not happy with my results.
I know I know!
My main goal was to finish. But really even for your first time you kinda have time goals in your head as to what you think you are capable of and what you are training at.
I trained for a 4:30. Actually all my training runs were using the paces for that time goal. Lots of runs I was doing a time for closer to 4:15 but I kept 4:30 in my mind. Even my long slow runs were all done at a sub 4:30 pace. I was ready and I was going to nail my race.
Then my legs were achy from the start.
I was sooooo not ready for the pain that last 10k.
My stomach was done in that last 5k.
It was hard even more so because my running buddy was also in pain and we were so quick to take walk breaks for the last couple K. I'm also so happy I had her there since I needed someone to talk to and remember why we were putting ourselves through so much pain.
But I'm not happy. I was on target for around 4:30 for most of the race. It really Sucked watching that time slip away. The stars did not align the way they were in my training runs. Not every day is going to be perfect. There are way to many factors that need to be counted and it was a rough day. Even that first day I was more happy to be done than happy about what I accomplished once I got back home.
I'm pretty convinced that's why I'm even been thinking of doing this marathon thing again.
I want that 4:30.
I am more than capable of that time.
There! It is now out there and I can take the steps to make sure that when I attempt this again I will be ready.
OMG...this is SOOOOOOOOOO how i feel!! right after i finished i was just so happy to be done...but then as the days wore on, a small niggling part of me kept saying well you finished, but you didn't hit your goal of 4:30...and i HATE not making a goal when i set it. i'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels this way!!! i had a little issue with my chip too...it didn't time me crossing the mat at the start, so my time was gun time, not chip and i was at the back of the pack...and it really, really bugged me because i felt like i had to add that in whenever anyone asked my time because stupidly to me, 4:39-something sounds better than 4:40-something. crazy, eh? argh.
ReplyDeletei think that's also why i'm thinking of another marathon as well but concentrating on speed in 2012 to get a good base in when i attempt the next one. OK...deal between you and me...we kick ass on our next marathon and make our goal!! woohoo!!
Deal! And honestly I'm glad to put this out there now since finally I'm not the only one.
ReplyDeleteNORMAL! Totally normal feelings. You just never know what's going to happen in your first full and I think that's why most people don't achieve the time they "trained" for. The fact is. your mind and body just don't know how to handle the distance yet. But next time they will handle it better!! GO get that 4:30!
ReplyDeleteYou know, we can claim we don't have time goals, and we just want to finish, but for most of us, it's simply not true. At least, not entirely true. If "just finishing" was all that mattered, you would walk the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of whether you have an official goal, most of us have an expectation. A pace that we expect we can finish it in. So, if you don't achieve that pace, I think it is totally normal to want to try again.
I'd be surprised if you stop at two marathons though...
Personally I applaud everyone who manages to finísh a marathon! Clapclapclap!
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself.
Mom's Home Run